l don't think wanting to be cared for is selfish. I do think the best people equipped to do it are the ones who are paid to. Professionals. Children of parents can easily be traumatized by providing a certain kind of care, or they may not be able to find the time, or have the money to be able to stay home with the parent needing care... Not all care needs are equal, nor are financial situations, or parent/child relationships, or a person's ability to cope with providing some of the care that is best left to someone who isn't the parent's child (bathing, for example).

I have all kinds of fears about getting old and needing care. But I also don't know that if I had kids I would want to burden them with caring for me. I would want them to have their own lives, not worry about mine. My bad situation is my own to deal with.