When It Comes to Choice, Should Men Get One?

The pregnancy players

Man with duct tape on his mouth. Image (pre-tape) by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

In an episode of the show Parenthood (the series that predated and likely inspired This Is Us), a teenage couple deals with a pregnancy. The girl wants an abortion; the boy doesn’t want her to have one. She gets the abortion, anyway. The boy is supportive (he loves her), but when it’s done, he’s broken, distraught, and for the first time goes to his mother for emotional support (he’d been very private and “teenagery” up to that point).

I thought it was an effective way to show the impact of abortion on males who don’t agree with the decision to terminate, but who have no say, really, and can only stand by and accept whatever the carrier(1) decides, whether the pregnancy he wished would lead to fatherhood is terminated or a baby he doesn’t want is born.

While I do believe the sperm contributor to the creation of a pregnancy (in a relationship in which the two respect each other, that is) should be informed of the pregnancy and involved in a discussion of the options — purely for honesty and transparency and emotional intimacy reasons — I also believe that, following whatever discussion takes place, the decision ultimately is (and should be) the carrier’s.

But it’s unfair.