Why didn’t “Grace” respect Aziz Ansari’s verbal and physical cues?

Let me begin by saying that I understand why some women might be inclined to immediately mistrust, even fear, some men.

I’m not unfamiliar with what it’s like to have uncomfortable sex- or gender-related encounters with people considered more powerful, whether due to their age or their superior physical strength relative to mine. From a creepy 7th grade teacher to several flashed penises to two unforgettable encounters with an ex-husband, I’ve been there. I understand weird power dynamics, and I understand women can sometimes fear men. And I know one individual’s personal experience cannot be compared to another’s, that what makes one person uncomfortable won’t necessarily affect another person. I get all that, I promise.

But nor does one’s personal discomfort or displeasure necessarily — or even often — qualify as proof of another person’s misconduct.

If a man is standing ten feet away from me and I don’t like it because I feel threatened, that doesn’t mean he’s doing something wrong.

You may have read about a woman named “Grace” and her unarguably awkward date with actor Aziz Ansari, which became a widely read story by Katie Way.

Defenders of Ansari are being told we’re wrong to defend him, that we don’t understand the…