Member-only story
Why the Childfree Win Most Happiness Wars
Intention
One thing about the childfree community is that most of us give a lot of thought to the child question. Even “early articulators” (people who know when they’re relatively young that they don’t want children) tend to give it a lot of thought throughout their lives as they encounter people/TV shows/books/movie characters/family members who express a certain expectation of children.
Many articles cite studies showing that the childfree are generally happier about being childfree than parents are about being parents, and parents (mostly mothers, who shoulder a majority of the child-rearing burden) have started sharing their displeasure with parenthood online.
There’s a lot of back-and-forth about who’s happier (parents, non-parents, parents of one, parents of many), and most of it is presented as a shallow, petty Happiness War: “Parents are happier because we have bundles of joy!” vs. “Child-free are happier because we’re unburdened!” (It goes further — see “The Happiness Wars: Who’s Winning?”)
Instead of the happiness factor having anything to do with having vs. not having kids, isn’t it more likely that happiness/satisfaction has to do with who’s doing what they always wanted to be doing, what they gave serious thought to, what they considered and weighed carefully?
