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You Don’t Have to “Make up for” Not Having a Child
There are many ways to find purpose
Some time ago, I wrote about a childfree segment that aired on Today that, in its subtle way, suggested women who don’t want children will still find ways to have children in their lives, as if part of being fulfilled as a woman will always involve children. (I can’t seem to find it anywhere, or I’d link you to it.)
When I was writing it, I thought, “Obviously, this is an imagined issue. It’s only other people, people who have kids, who think those without kids have some special need to find fulfillment.”
But then, under “search terms” in my site stats, I saw, “how to fulfill my life without kids.”
For men and women who want children, I understand why imagining a life without children and trying to learn how to feel “complete” would be a challenging, and even painful, discovery process. If you’ve always imagined you would be a parent, if you have that pull, that longing, learning that you’ll never have a child — unless you adopt, but adoption isn’t for everyone — has to be heartbreaking. There are some whose single life goal is to have children. That’s their purpose, their reason for living.
For the rest who want kids, and I think it’s safe to say “for most,” having children is both desired (but…
