" You're choosing to pander to men's feelings and inflated irrational fears ..."

No, I'm not. We're making different arguments/cases. You're imagining the case I'm making is in defense of men and not women (when I've spent the last decade or more defending a woman's right to choose and to not have children, period) when what I'm saying - all I'm saying - is that pronatalism doesn't only affect women (and the unwanted kids they can feel pressured to have). That men are also part of the pronatalism target, and that they are also affected by it in large part because of how we see their role in the broader family/parenting sphere.

As lovely as it would be to see things in black and white - such as, "Well, the guy whose wife raped him while he was drugged should charge her with rape and sue the hospital" - that's not how the world is. We should all do things we don't do because there are complications. I used that example because of its somewhat hazy (in our society as it exists) situation, and because many people wouldn't see that as rape because "he's a guy and it was his wife and big deal it's just kids everyone has kids," just the way they don't see pressuring or forcing men into parenthood as a big deal because he's a guy.

I'm not fighting the same fight you are in this post. My fight: no one should be pressured into having kids, and women aren't the only ones we expect to have kids to such a blind and monumental degree that they actually get pressured into having kids they don't want. (Is that infantilization? Because I can show you a whole reddit forum where women say they've been pressured into parenthood.)

Thanks for the exchange.